


idfc

by okayrowan



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: College AU, Eventual Happy Ending, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Modern AU, Slight fluff, depression fic, hinata's got alcoholism, im not sorry, kagehina but angst, kageyama's point of view, non-canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25603411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okayrowan/pseuds/okayrowan
Summary: kageyama shouldn't do it. he really shouldn't take care of him. but he does. day after day. but hinata never remembers, so it's okay.songfic for idfc by blackbear
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 21





	idfc

"i'm leaving kageyama! i'll be back later!"

i heard that every night as he left the dorm. as he left me. i don't even know why i got so upset over it though, it's not like i cared about him.

 _you've been out all night_.

he'll be back in an couple hours or so, smelly and stumbling.

 _you're slurring all your words, not making any sense_.

most nights there was a new bruise or scrape. i'd rinse his hair in the sink, help him change his clothes, and patch up his cuts or change the band-aids. he won't remember in the morning, anyways.

_but i don't fucking care, at all._

or do i?

-

hinata has been my best friend since we were in high school. now, we're in our final year of college and i don't know if i can call him that anymore.

he never talks, only to tell me when he's leaving.

he's not as bubbly, anymore.

his hair's brown now, he was sick of the attention.

he always wears clothes to make him appear taller.

he's not the hinata i _~~love~~_ know.

-

tonight was the first in a while. he didn't go out.

tonight, he sat on my bed, holding a pillow and watching the tv with a blank stare.

i was sitting at the small table in our dorm, finishing the last of my charcoal drawing for art 2d. he got up and walked out, sitting across from me.

"i think i have a problem."

-

i was slightly shocked, to say the least. i set down my blender and looked up, taking in his puffy eyes and messy hair.

"i know, sho. i know."

he hung his head and looked down in his lap. i knew he was fiddling with his pinkie fingers.

i sighed softly, reaching out and tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. his head snapped up, and i realized he was on the verge of tears.

_i'm only a fool for you._

-

i walked around the table and kneeled next to him, turning his chair slightly and taking his hands. he watched me, tears threatening to spill.

"i'll help you. but for now, i think you need some ice cream."

he chuckled softly, and i reached out to brush away a stray tear that had fallen. i stood up and he put his arms up, his eyes wide and pleading for me to carry him.

i obliged.

i set him down on his bed and went to leave and get us ice cream, but he grabbed the edge of my shirt and tugged me back.

"there's... there's a stash under my bed. please get it." he mumbled softly, letting go and curling up on himself.

i nodded and pulled out the black bag, taking it to the kitchen and dumping all but one bottle down the drain. i threw the empty bottles in the trash and hung the bag up on the rack, tossing the still full bottle into my half of the closet, where it fell into my laundry basket.

i grabbed two ice cream sandwiches and walked back in the room, pausing momentarily at the door. hinata looked so precious right now, save for the runny nose and still-red eyes. i sat next to him and silently offered him the ice cream.

"thank you.." he trailed off, laying back while i put on some random movie off netflix. i zoned out until i heard soft sniffling from behind me, turning around to see him crying in his sleep. i scooted back until my back hit the wall, pullling hinata into my lap and gently running my fingers thru his hair. soon enough, the sniffled stopped, and his breathing evened out.

_cause i have hella feelings for you._

-

i woke up to hinata curled around my waist, the early sunday light coming between the blinds and landing on his face. i stayed still and just watched him. 'he hasn't been this calm or pure since our second year', i thought to myself. his hair was fading back to its bright orange, and the particularly nasty bruise on his jaw (from a fall when drunk) looked nearly gone.

he shifted slightly and i closed my eyes, feeling him wake up and gently brush a strand of my hair off my forehead, then a soft kiss pressed to the exposed skin there. he got out of bed, leaving me cold and lonely but blushing. i heard the shower turn on and i sat up, touching my forehead.

"he hasn't done that since graduation..."

-

i should have known it wouldn't last. how could it?

i was late this time. i had a funny feeling in my gut, but i was having fun testing out the new inks at the art studio with kenma and yamaguchi. but as soon as i got back to the dorm, i knew.

hinata was gone.

-

at 3 am, i finally heard the lock click slowly, as if he still had enough common sense to try not to wake me.

he walked in, a cut on his lip and stumbling, mumbling something i couldn't quite catch.

i stood up, fists clenched and shaking slightly.

he looked up at me, and i saw three emotions cross his face at once.

sadness.

regret.

rejection.

"kags..." he slurred, stepping back as if that would save him.

"no."

my voice was dangerously low, anger radiating off of me.

"after what i did? after getting you help? sho, you were sober for three. fucking. months. and on the one night i finally trust you enough to stay at the studio for a couple hours longer, you fucking stab me in the back! i trusted you!! i fucking trusted you.."

i sniffled, wiping away tears i hadn't realized had fallen.

"b-but-"

"no fucking 'buts' hinata. you made this choice. you were fucking sober when you left. don't blame shit on alcohol. you were sober when you get your keys. you were sober when you got to the bar. you were fucking sober until you picked up that fucking bottle!" i screamed, letting all my emotions from the past hours come out. "shoyou, i'm done. i trusted you. i've been here for years for you. i told you this when you started drinking. you let it go too far."

i sat down at the table while he slid to the foor, both of us silently crying.

"tobio..." he whispered, and i looked over at him cautiously, "it's because i was jealous. jealous that you were spending time with kenma."

"jealous? why would you be jealous?"

"be-because..."

"hinata, why would you be jealous."

he mumbled something i didn't understand.

"louder, sho."

"because..." he took a deep breath and stood up, meeting my eyes.

"because i think i'm in love with you."


End file.
